Well I have dealt with alot this past months and had to do alot of thinking and deciding. My decision is to move back to America and get a divorce.
I told my husband today. I feel like someone has died. I do care for him and I know he loves me but our marriage foundation is based on fairytales and half truths and there is nothing for us to build on. He is not a giving person and there is no way I can make it here in Norway without his understanding and support. The best thing for me is to move back home.
I won't have much money if any (depends on what he can help me with) and I don't have a place to stay (my cousin rented out "my room" and I don't have a car to get back and forth to the job I don't have. I don't even know where I will come up with the money to get a plane ticket. I am scared.
I keep trying to rememeber that once I get back there are people who will understand, help me and be there. I am also trying not to think too much into it. Just figuring how to get there and where I am going is enough. I'll deal with the rest when I need to.
Anyway,, that's what's been up with me and why I have been distancing myself lately.
My husband is shocked and it's a bit awkward not having anywhere to go until I can get stuff worked out. He's being decent and I sure he will continue that but I think it's gonna take some time to sink in.
Hugs anyone? I really could use some.
Heidu