You know yourself best, but you carried a pretty heavy load for an extended period--marked by two rather serious extensions, and it's not over yet. You don't drive, and the hospital is at a distance--adding a further layer of complication. Your husband must regularly travel in his work, which is a separate stressor for you--and in this case also an interrelated one. And the list goes on.

I don't know how much stress is normal in the lives of the women you know in South Africa, Sabrina--but by my standards, raising a teenage son in a somewhat isolated area with a husband who's work requires him to travel so much--sometimes outside your country--would be the maxamum stress i would expect myself to routinely process.

Exceeding that limit would place me in jeopardy ... And I'd expect to need serious, regular, and probably professional support to get me through whatever. Whatever being, for example, my mother being struck with life-endangering cancer.

You say you're amazed (& sound disappointed) at how you "buckled under pressure and just went back to my old ways." I'm amazed by how much strength you expect of yourself! Far more than you do of your mom, or you'd wouldn't think it too soon for her to be back at work!

I'm also somewhat concerned about the "comment from hubby" which seemed involved in re-starting the gym/diet initiative. After all you've been through, I am very, very hopeful it wasn't one of those thoughtless comments like, "You've put that weight back on, haven't you, darling?"

Roadie