While I have never cut..... I have used masturbation to substituted the feeling of death that seemed to overwhelm me all most every day of my life at one time (and) YES while masturbation did help on a surface level the sadness I used it to numb always returned..... for while pleasure left me feeling good, very good, at the moment it did not and could not erase the real problem - that of which I had to work on from with in my self in order to heal and to get past my drug of choice (sexual pleasure).

BTW - there was one big CON that began to take place during this time..... I started to not be able to react to my husbands hand over my own - my body was learning to not need him.

PLEASE - - - Precede with Extreme Caution if you are in a relationship or a marriage with another..... or plan to be any time soon.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -