Quote:
Originally Posted by kare2bear
Hi there..
been sober 7 years now. This last year I've really started not liking going to meetings. I"ve switched it up and tried different ones but for some reason I just don't like going anymore. I know I'm still an addict. It's just that I can't get back on track and starting going to meetings with regularity again.
I've been stressed over the past year.. relationship and job issues.. and find that I'm not comfortable talking about this at meetings. There's always someone who has to make comment on what I said and try to offer their 2 cents. Like when I talk about the **** my boyfriend and I are going through and people will actually say stuff like "I would leave him if things don't start to change" I absolutely hate that  It makes me want to stay silent in the meeting or not go at all. Which is where I"m at now. For a long time I tried to brush off peoples comments in meetings and try to focus on the positive message, but I lost patience and decided to stop going for awhile.
Problem is.. I"m still an addict and have urges and impulses that have increased in the past 6 months. I came really close to using a few weeks ago.. and fortunately by the grace of god did not act on the urge. I was able to play the tape all the through and realize using will only make my problems worse and **** with my emotions.
I came to PC to get support for emotional issues and am glad they also have a forum dealing with addictions. It's a way for me to at least read about others who struggle and get courage, strenth and hope to stay sober.
tks |
here's a thought karebear...when you are needing to share about your life stuggles at a mtg. share how it makes you feel. relate this to your old drinking habits and stinkin' thinking. our reactions to life's problems is to numb our emotions instead of resolving conflict. it's an old habit to escape.
most importantly get to a meeting. the longer you stay away the harder it gets. excuses are not the real reasons. the longer you stay away the greater chance of relapse. turn yourself around and head the other way.
i'm so glad you posted. when you go to a meeting- i hope -you can listen for now. i'm sure you'll hear solutions to how you perceive your life problems and helpful stuff to give you the serenity you deserve. we just have to show up. a dear friend of mine used to say "this ain't no dress rehearsal!"  it puts things in a better perspective.
hope you' get to a meeting. don't quite understand why it works but it does. the serenity will follow. that i am sure.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
|