Hi

Your former husband fits the description of a psychopath but I could be wrong. But anyway those type of people need to be avoided at all cost, they are very dangerous! As above people say, contact your local domestic violence service to assist you. You can't do this alone. He seems highly manipulative and has no empathy for what he does. I think you're right to not trust him when he is depressed as he could be the type of person that could try to harm you or the kids.