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veez · Jul 11, 2012 at 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by plumapplepear

Going up and down with emotion has caused havoc in my relationshops with others. I would welcome adult responses to overwhelming emotions. Sometimes I revert to child like behaviour which only furthers my distance from people.

I can so relate to what you are saying and could use some techniques for coping with emotions myself. I too often feel that I respond in a childlike way instead of bringing to a situation the strength and stability of a grown woman. The things that come to mind for me that would be helpful (which I often fail to recognize or put into action at the time) are things like having pre-determined standards for ways in which it is acceptable for others to treat me. Resisting the intrigue of curiosity so that I don't feed an issue and keep it going. Knowing when to stop trying to defend myself, my actions, what I think, etc. Realizing when it is time to let go. Taking responsibility for my own self-preservation. Doing or saying less when someone is signaling that I am too much, too intense, too dramatic, too sensitive, too emotional and accepting that they do not have the ability to relate to, understand or accept certain aspects of who I am. Wanting approval when it is not there to be offered seems to lead to frustration and ultimately creates distance where we are seeking closeness. Being there for ourselves in the way that we want others to be.
Responding to your post has given me food for thought that would be good for me to apply to myself. The vulnerability that steers us to respond in a childlike way to situations probably comes from fragility that has always been a part of us due to life experience. I think it's important to not feel that we have to act in such a way that rejects that part of us. But, at the same time it is a private part of who we are that we need to recognize is not appropriate to bring into most social situations or relationship problems. It is our personal responsibility to find balance in the ways that we communicate with others, while assuring the fragile child in us that we are capable of addressing any situation as the adult we are now. I tend to ramble. Thank you for indulging my thoughts in response to your post.