A therapist once told me that no matter how I was feeling that was ok because my feelings are my feelings and no one can tell me not to feel what I feel when I feel it. She also said regardless of the feeling I still needed to take care of me. I can feel angry, guilty and so on for not attending family reunions and parties but that does not mean I have to ignore or not do what is right for me. She told me to instead of worrying about what will everyone say if I go or not go but instead think about what I want to do. And then based on what I want to do put things in place to make sure I am taken care of if I dont go the what kinds of things I can do just for myself during that time when the family thought I should be with them or if I decided to go what kinds of things can I set up so that during the reunions I was taken care of like setting up with a friend to go with me so that one I wasn't alone and two so if I decided it was time for me to leave I wasn't depedant on a relative who would rather stay longer.

Which ever way you decide the bottom line is you come first and them second. If you don't go plan something special for yourself and if you do go set up whatever you need to ensure your safety and so on.