Thanks for your response.
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what I know about DBT skills from the internet and the 2 chapters she gave me, it does feel challenging to do on my own. I don't know why she gave me those chapters if she never refers to them or asks how I'm going through the exercises. I expect she wants to be available to talk about what I wish too rather than getting involved in seeing what is helping and what isn't. So I can choose on my own what is helpful. ...But I would like to talk to her or someone about it because I don't always find it easy to do when I am in the middle of a 'mood' and I feel I might be doing it all wrong since it has helped so many other people.
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DBT was not designed as a form of self-therapy, and I agree that trying to learn and practice DBT skills on your own can be quite challenging and frustrating. You could talk to your T specifically about the skills. However, in DBT, skills training is done in a group setting to avoid taking up precious individual therapy time on a set of skills that are useful to, and can be communicated to, several people at once. (Of course, one also has an individual therapist in DBT).
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My parents want me to go through my GP and start DBT therapy so I can 'practise skills in real life slowly'....I agree although I find that slightly patronising(!)
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When put that way--
practice skills in real life slowly--it does sound patronising to my ears as well. I think what is meant is that people who have difficulty with the skills taught in DBT can really benefit from DBT. For example: interpersonal effectiveness--being able to say "No", being able to ask for what is wanted, being able to negotiate--and other DBT skills can go a long ways towards making life worth living, rather than something to struggle through and cope with.
DBT offers a structured way to learn those skills. I don't think that the learning is intended to occur
slowly. The entire structure of DBT is based on respecting clients, seeing them eye-to-eye, not patronising them.
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and I'm scared of being in a group because it feels very exposing...and I would be scared that the group will tell me to be different without being willing to understand that I can't/findit hard. But may be I should see if there is a waiting list I can get on for one in the future?...
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I agree that a group can feel very exposing. DBT groups are intended to be a little different, though, from what I understand. They are in some respects more akin to a classroom setting than to regular group therapy. There are specific skills to impart, and the group therapist/teacher is specifically instructed to avoid getting into detail about each individual situation.
I won't deny that a DBT group session is more exposing than being one-on-one with a therapist. However, I wonder if you could inquire a bit with people who have benefited from DBT? Or maybe meet with a DBT therapist to get a better explanation and answer some questions? Recall that at its very beginning, DBT was specifically designed to help people with strong, enduring suicidal ideation. And, in study after study it has proven itself to be effective. These are reasons that I am thinking DBT might help you, and why I encourage you to look further into it and maybe, as you suggested, be on a waiting list while you are learning more about it.