I agree with Myself and Rhapsody..allot of good heartfelt concern..it must be very hard that you have to suffer on missing out on family functions at times...but the alternative is to force yourself back into the roll of the victim in the prescence of this abuser..its just so unfair that you cant attend events when this abuser is around, but please take care of your own needs right now..if you feel guilty..thats perfectly understandable because you love your family...but on the other hand you need to love yourself too...take care..