can't call u an alcoholic only you can qualify yourself, james. but if you are the majic word is acceptance of where you have arrived. not admitting we are alcoholic but accepting we are and resolving to change and free ourselves of the bondage of addiction.
when alcoholics drink the alcohol controls them not the other way around. if it worth it to be controlled? to submit to something that dictates our life, our decisions or lack thereof?, to numb our feelings so we're a shell of a person?, to hibernate so we can drink as we wish cutting off ourselves from life and friends?
alcohol promises us the world and gives us misery instead. a hopeless existance. we have given up and become powerless. alcohol dictates our existance.
is this truely LIVING? or is it not a waste of talents? is it not only a semblance of true life?
only we can decide which path we choose. we can choose the road less traveled. but it takes courage and willingness.
those of us who have acted on our own free will have found a world of discovery. a world of joy not nothingness. a world free of void. a world of loving oneself not self-hatred.
why not look at your life now and list what you are, have, feel, hope for. list the "benefits".
then list what you wish for your life. list the benefits of what and who you can become. the answers are there.
hope this may help you, dear friend. you are special. you are unique. there is not another you in this entire world. set yourself free!