I'm not sure why I'm posting this --- mostly for myself to look into I suppose. I miss being in a relationship; it has been nearly 6 years since I was a successful one. I have trouble meeting + talking to the opposite gender. I have a few kinks (similar to fetishes, except they're non-sexual to me) - it seems it's easier to talk about them on-line opposed to in person. I find that almost a barrier that's stopping me from meeting others. Maybe I shouldn't let it take over so much. Sometimes I feel like those thoughts are all that's on my mind and I want others to know so much, but I get too afraid. The fact that I haven't been in a relationship in so long is depressing/upsetting. I'm frustrated with myself and don't know what to do. I know when and if a chance comes my way, I need to speak up. I don't know what to do really. I feel like a failure in this category. I have a love/hate feeling towards being alone... sorry for being a frustrated whiner here. No sympathy, just putting my thoughts out there.