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Some of it is cultural. My friends grandmother is Native American(don't know what tribe) and eye contact is an insult. It means you think the other person is lying and you are challenging what they are saying.
Personally I have trouble with eye contact because in my family.... it's just bad an leave it at that. I've had people that have gotten mad at me because they thought I wasn't paying attention because I made too little eye contact. I was just honest and told them, "No I was listening but I have trouble making eye contact."
What I strive for is enough eye contact that they know I'm listening. I definitely don't want to stare them into the ground and make them uncomfortable. I've always been told that keeping eye contact during an entire conversation is just as rude as not enough.
Do you have someone(maybe your SO or a friend) that would let you practice? Social interaction doesn't come easily for some of us and practice never hurts.
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