I know it's very hard, but it sounds like you're ready to go back and face that diagnosis. It's really really scary to admit that something is wrong, I know! But the good thing is that once you admit it, you can start to change it

Are you still seeing that doctor, or any doctor? I suggest you try writing them a letter with what you wrote here today, maybe just print it off if that's easier for you. Sometimes communicating through writing can be easier than speaking.

Remember, just talking about this here and facing it is brave You aren't alone.