I dropped out of college when I was 19 during a manic episode that ended with me pregnant, getting a divorce, and living with a man (the baby's father, whom I had had an affair with), that sold drugs for a living and with whom I fought every day.
When I was 33, after a decade of working 2 or 3 part time jobs at a time and barely making it, I decided to go back to school. I applied to my local University, was accepted and decided to go full time, relying on financial aid and public assistance so I wouldn't have to work.
The first two semesters went well. I was on the Dean's list. I loved my classes. I was overflowing with optimism and ideas. Then, during the fall of my second year, I became severely depressed. I stopped taking my meds, quit seeing my therapist, and failed all my classes. With a tremendous effort and a lot of support from my adviser and my school's Disability Services department, I was able to continue taking classes. But things have not gone well since then. That was 4 years ago,and since then I have been basically floundering; I keep changing my mind about what to major in and can't seem to sustain interest in any long term goals. I am losing hope and feeling terribly frustrated with myself. I just don't know what to do anymore.