It completely makes sense

Only you can say exactly what happened, but it is a possibility she is right. Sometimes people can get so involved in the concept of victimisation and the pain that it is very difficult to get out of it.. that is one of the reasons that SI is seen as an addiction. Just like other addictions, even when there is nothing currently wrong that would cause relapse it is very difficult to break the habits.

Hang in there though It is possible to overcome, and a good place to start is looking at if there was anything at all underlying your recent relapse. If not, maybe start looking at other distracting techniques for when the temptation is there. I know it is hard but it is possible.