Thanks guys, THat's one thing I am good at - no hooking up after breakups. Usually, the difficult time I have is not going back to that person for emotional support, via text and phone. I'm so used to relying on him to be my rock, especially when going through a difficult time.

So I think the main reason why we broke up is because I didn't feel attached to him. I wasn't super physically attracted to him. I didn't "miss" him like I feel I should miss a significant other. Now my main question with that is, do I not miss him because I'm used to living alone and stuff? He's over an hour away from me so we dont' see each other but 1-2 times per week, so maybe that has somethign to do with it. But then I look at my parents and they can't live without each other. I can't live with out his support and love, but I don't know if I love him like he loves me. Does that make any sense at all?

I also had a hard time because he was dating and trying to get over me and I felt really hurt and jealous. I didn't want him to move on! So, I think part of that played a role in me going back to him. I couldn't stand seeing him with anyone else.

He thinks that if we move in together it would give us an opportunity to see each other more and see what is "missing" from my stand point. I just don't think that's a good idea. But then I also think, what do I have to lose?

I do miss him terribly, but only as a support system for me - as selfish as that sounds. Right now we are not talking, and he unfriended me on FBook bc he said it would too difficult. I understand that. We left things on good terms, but I still feel like I'm mourning the loss of my best friend. I don't have anyone to go to to share good news or concerns, or even check in with during the day. He was that person for me. So every time I reach for my phone to text him, i have to stop myself and remind myself of how I need to move on. As much as I love him, I'm doing it for the both of us. We both deserve better.

Other than that, we didn't really fight or argue...it would almost be easier if we did, so I could pinpoint a reason for moving on.

I think I am holding out until Monday when I talk to my counselor. She usually helps a lot. ALthough I hate admitting that I have to start up therapy again. Augh, just trugging through for now.