i agree with gardener girl and other people on this, but to add another angle: i speak as someone who is fiercely independent, and i hate asking people for help, even friends and family BUT i fully accept that sometimes, more often than you'd expect for a loner, i have to do it. i also fully expect them to ask help of me. i would find it strange if they didn't, to be honest. one of my friends is going to be having a baby soon and i absolutely expect her to call me when her hormones are messing about, and for me to take the pressure off. i expect her to make me babysit, and i expect her and her husband to go away together, or at the same time as eachother. if it wasn't me they asked, it would be another of their friends.

i think your T is wrong on this: whether someone is ridiculously independent like i am or BPD or whatever, the whole point of friendship is give and take, and i think it sounds like you have it worked out. it sounds as though you appreciate what your friends do for you, and that you try to offer them something in return where you can. i think that often, just being friends can be repayment for doing things for someone, and to help eachother out is part of that. i think your t is making you feel unnecessarily guilty, and that's not fair on you.