I'm not sure what exactly you are saying your husband gets upset about. Is it the fear of storms? Or is it the being in bed with the sister?

I suspect you mean your husband is impatient with your son's fear of storms, so I'll just address that. That's a pretty normal fear for a 4 year old. So, what is it about the fear that triggers your husband's anger? Is he afraid it is a sign of weakness, that this is an indication that your son is a too weak? That would be assinine but a good indicator that your husband needs to redefine manliness or strength or something. Shaming your son about this fear is not helpful at all and will probably only serve to make the problem worse.

I have a 13-year-old who is pretty close to phobic about storms. We live in tornado alley and the storms that come through truly can be deadly. Somewhere along the line he saw a wall cloud and feared for his life and ever since then it has been a real issue for him. He checks the weather radar if the skies look bad, and if a storm does hit, trust me, he is in the room with us often under a blanket and fighting tears. We feel so badly for him. This is the one thing in his life he reacts to that way, rational or not. Ridiculing him would definitely not be helpful. Talking to him, letting him be in our proximity, etc. is calming for him, and once the storm has passed he moves back to bed or wherever.

Last April during school, our area was put under a tornado warning and all the schools in the area and most businesses too went under lockdown. I found myself under the computer tables at school with my own students and thinking a great deal about how my son was handling it on his own at his own school. And you know what? I had students of my own who were as equally terrified of storms as my son, and my son found out that he wasn't the only kid at school who reacted so strongly either. He said the other students were kind and comforting of each other and he felt pretty empowered to find out he's not the only one. The nice end result? He's been handling the storms a bit better since then.

I guess my point is that your husband really needs to understand that his reaction that he is communicating to your son is probably only going to make this a bigger, longer issue. Fear of storms is completely age appropriate at 4 years old, and even if it wasn't the way your husband is dealing with it will do more harm than good. Time for a sit down, come to Jesus meeting with your husband about this.