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Jul 13, 2012, 04:27 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,289
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robinsonjd12
I've tried but I can even say that rape out loud. I can write it but I can't say. I just freeze whenever I think about it and just can't do. My therapists says I do that to numb myself to what happened. I don't know why I do it, but I just freeze whenever the subject even comes up.
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(((robinson))),
I know what you are saying, it took me a long time to discuss not only my CSA in therapy but a date rape too.
And I still block things to be honest. I am actually opining in another thread in PTSD because people from around that time in my life want to reconnect with me and my brain just doesn't want to go anywhere near that time in my life right now.
My T told me that our brains do this to protect us from experiencing the emotional pain by recalling these memories. I find it frustrating because I just tend to shut down at times or want to avoid too.
And yes, I do watch things on TV too and I think it is to desensitize myself or bring a kind of closure somehow as suggested above by Rose.
I will say that once I did open up with my T, I felt relieved about it, knowing that he was going to validate me and not judge me. Maybe you can make a copy of this thread and give it to your T.
I think it is great that you are talking about it here though. I was a member for a long time, would visit this forum but not be able to discuss my own experiences.
So you ARE making some progress, good work.
Open Eyes
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