I can't fake a smile at all ~ I am super-depressed....and hating myself as usual. I can relate to your post. I just keep reminding myself of not wanting to hurt my daughters or my boyfriend. The girls are the big negative side of suicidal impulses. I don't want to F them up anymore than I have already. If you have a pet, perhaps you could try this same strategy? Pets would surely miss you dearly!

Glad that you've got an appointment with your therapist for Monday. Hopefully, things will improve for you very soon. (((doggiedo)))