I don't know where to begin
I have something I don't know what but.

2 weeks ago my girlfriend left me, my girlfriend who helped me come to terms with 90% of my mental issues through our relationship.

We broke up because I had a breakdown, and she said she was scared.

She told me via facebook

She wouldn't see me

the day after we talked normally and she said she might see me tomorrow
and then the next day she was saying sorry for hurting me and she couldnt face me
the next day she was heartless again and said maybe sometime this week
and then i broke down sent her loads of messages
she said maybe sunday i said ok and brokedown again sent more messages

she hasn't been to see me
i've been asking her to let me say goodbye

i cant stop myself from doing anythiing messaging her
thinking about her
i found out she is already sexually active and i cant control myself
we were perfect just before my breakdown
i cant stop messaging her
i need to say goodbye
i made her the solution to my problems
i gave her the thing i had used to keep them at bay
now she is gone
they are all back
i feel like i'm exploding

i cant control myself, im checking what she does on other forums
she deleted her fb
changed her no.

im breaking down
my head is thinking silly thoughts

what do i do
i cant regain control