Quote:
Originally Posted by Berly0384
Ugh sometimes I hate being bipolar....was just up and now I'm down. It's so exhausting. Get scared when I start to have negative thoughts. Feel like it might last forever. Can't live in bed anymore...just got a new job and I have to support myself. I'm now 27 and it is time to grow up and show up. I can no longer use anything to self medicate or just give up. This scares me. I just don't know how to continuously live life. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to cope better and manage this disease? When I feel good it's no problem for me but managing the lows is hard for me. Don't want to get stuck anymore and give up....please help if u can
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...a downer can go for days and the upper never stays!
it's not easy at all being supersensitive to everything around me and not knowing why and making radical decisions on impulse and not knowing why and having to always retrace steps to fix problems never quite having a life...oh boy!
...the people around me the things they say or not say or do or not do or appear, the sounds around me the music, noise...the racket! the weather am I hot or cold the things in my field of vision I seem to have an extreme reaction to and I don't know why I am supersensitive in my environment...the smells the aromas the tastes of things the feel of things on my skin the way my clothes fit or don't fit are things messy or are they clean...the way I see myself from moment to moment needing a firm idea cos I forget what I look like and need reminding...and do I recognise myself and I don't really like what I see no way!
...and am I happy with it and most likely not and I'm sure as hell not fitting in anywhere and then there is the vast ever expanding fantasy land in my head processing a galaxy of information ambushing me with flashbacks and opinions and conclusions and revelations and confusion mostly...
...all demanding I do something rational about it all?...I mean what the?
keeping a balance in amongst the onslaught is like standing tippie toe on a ball point pen in the dark on a mountain of jelly!
it's elusive and it's a cliche but hey it has to work today....I keep even a tiny speck of faith at the darkest times that it will pass and in the meantime the world just has to let me through....yep
