If you can, I think you need to see a therapist. It sounds like he tore your self esteem and that you still haven't recovered from that. There must be some unresolved feelings that you may/may not have been able to express which holds you back from moving on.

Honestly, we cannot diagnose him with anything because we aren't certified therapist/psychiatrists. All you really need to know was that he was a disturbed individual and that you are a very strong woman for going through a divorce and separating. Even if he had a psychological disorder or personality disorder, you shouldn't allow yourself to justify his behavior as appropriate.