It sounds like there is a lot of strain on this relationship. You rely on her to fix 90% of your mental issues and the responsibility in the relationship seems unbalanced. However, those issues are really yours to take responsibility for and to fix. I am sure she has her own needs that require taking care of and perhaps those are going unattended. Sending her repeated messages does not sound like a good idea - it is probably driving her further away. You might seek the care you need from a therapist so that your future relationships are more balanced and healthier in nature. The therapist can also help you with your personal issues. All the best to you.