So, here's how it goes. Most of the time I try to avoid dating and relationships because it wreaks havoc on my mind (possible BPD). And my feelings. But - life would be too easy if we managed to stick to our resolutions, right?

So I have this longtime friend with whom I spent quite a lot of time these past two weeks - we went camping and swimming, etc. He said he wanted to go on vacation some time in summer near my usual vacation spot and if I wanted to go too. I did.

Few days ago we jumped into bed with each other and it was amazing. I decided I was going on vacation this weekend, if he wanted to come too. He said he'd like to go a bit sooner as he'd have to work over the week. Next day we flirted like crazy over drinks with friends. I went home, feeling too tired to bar crawl with them and he sent me a good night text. Perfect, I thought. I gave him lots of space and managed to contain myself (and boy was that hard) - he always asked me out, I didn't come to him first. So I thought it might become something more.

Yesterday I just sent him a text asking if he was coming as I wanted to plan my weekend. He hasn't replied still - for a day and a half. So now my mind is all over the place thinking up reasons why he would suddenly ignore me. Does he hate me? Did I say something I shouldn't have? Did he meet another girl? What's going on? And so forth and so forth. The insecurity hurts.