Oh my goodness, how hard it is! Eating disorder, cancer survivorship, depression, hurting self. Having a partner who at such a young age needs Cialis. That alone requires courage and patience from you. I am sure you could find a partner who could get it up with you without Cialis. I would probably pose to him the following: fine, he likes more voluptuous women and it is OK with you but you also need your sex life and unlike him, you are ***not*** interested in silly online porn, you need real flesh. So change the status of the relationship to an open one, and let us see what he has to say. Maybe it will elicit a speedier reaction than the multi-page pleas. And stop trying to limit his access to porn - it is his computer, his tech toys, he decides how to use them. You would not like it if he limited your access to this forum, would you? Same thing. Personal autonomy.

You do not have to be ready to jump in someone else's bed - just to switch the relationship status to (potentially) open. And I agree with the previous poster that the wedding should be postponed or called off. Good luck, I am sure it is tough as hell!