hey guys
im just led in bed at the mo with alot of things goin round in me head that i need to talk about.
im feelin abit lonely lately and sometimes i just need that special someone to be led next to me so i can talk to, cuddle and relax with. ive been single now for just over a year (that relationship only lasting a few weeks and was my only relationship in a year) and i am still a virgin at the age of 19, after bein sexually abused 9 years ago i find it really hard to trust someone and let them get close and intimate with me. i am now ready to have a sexual partner but my problem is that i only want a long term relationship which is deep and meaningful with someone i care deeply for, im not the type of person to sleep with anyone once or twice and move on, and because of my abuse i feel my (proper) first time has to be with that special someone but because of my age i just cant find a girl who wants a long term relationship and who is similar to me. im the type of guy who prefers staying in, ya no, cosy nights in etc, i am romantic, caring, and very loving but all the girls that i have met are the opposite, they all wanna be out partying and having a "great" time.
I really do want somebody to love and for somebody to love me, i have so much to give and i no i can make that women very very happy, but i think im setting standards too high, or am i? wat do u guys think? am i wrong for wanting a serious relationship, i no its not the "normal" thing to do at 19 but thats all i want, my past has tought me to only spend time with people i care about and i dont care about sleepin with loadsa girls, partyin til early hours and doin drink and drugs cos it just isnt me. am i wrongfully hopin for that special girl? i mean, im not lookin too hard for her because you will never find wat u are looking for until you stop lookin so im not forcin myself to find that special one but am runnin down a dead end!