Thanks for the replies! I def am very emotionally damaged by this relationship. And yes, my self esteem was ripped apart. I am getting better with that as I do have some wonderful people in my life that love me. I struggle with trying to figure out why he would do those things to me, as I was the one he loved more than anything. And if I got sad and cried, he seemed to get even madder. It was so strange. But for some reason I feel like he has some power over me. I still get weak whenever I see him. We had a VERY strong physical connection, and I still think about that often. I was always a strong opinionated woman, but he hated that. He was stuck in some egotistical frame of mind where the man is the sole decision maker and I had my " womanly" roles to fulfill. If I disagreed with anything, it was hell. ( driving erratically to scare me, yelling, name calling, making me get out of the car in a random location, threats, always ending the relationship and taking everything so I have nothing) I wanted to go visit my mother while she was camping and he said no. I said, um yeah I'm going. He took a fuse out of my car so I couldn't drive. Then he took away my necklace that he had just given me for my birthday and said I didn't deserve it and returned it to the store. So many mean things, and yet I always took him back. Sometimes begging him! I get angry with myself but it's true!