...let me begin this by saying I'm not a pessimist...(thanks for letting me begin by saying that )...

anyway I was staring at the floor like I do sometimes, for about two minutes waiting for the two minutes to be up so I could move onto the next two minutes, might be an add thing or just me is all weird like?

it occurred to me that I can't remember the last time someone else ruined my day? ...damn I hope they don't decide to do it today...I mean I know a couple people who ruined my life but thats another thing...but seriously, its always me I believe who makes a mess of my day if there is an opportunity.

...my mind goes places that no medications on this planet can prevent, thats why people went to the moon...looking for other drugs...now they want to go to mars and it's all about finding water but gotta have a drink to wash down the new drugs they find?

I make efforts to make my day a good one as best I can but it can be such a battle and having a mentally ill brain make all the interpretations along the way sure makes it a tricky battle.

I know I used to blame the world and everyone on it including some of the fish and it's so tempting to do this still but at the end of the day it's always me thats pooped at my party somehow and someway...

but it's ok