Hey. I can totally relate. One of my x-boyfriends was like you describe. He would get me lost and make me get out of the truck. He would eventually came back for me but to get back into the truck with him I had to do what he wanted. It always ended poorly. Rape was the finial step. Which occurred more than once and I returned to or at least didn't leave the situation for a long time.

I am now in an (improving ) emotionally abusive relationship. My H is very controllling. He only gives me limited amounts of money, asks who were you on the phone with, where were you when I called, why do you wear that, I don't like the show you are watching so you can't watch it.

We have started marriage counceling. It has helped a little. But more the T and I are wroking on trauma's and why I allow this to happen. Why I don't leave and why this isn't the first time. Apparently it is from no feeling wanted as a child and these men made me feel wanted even if it was for the wrong reasons and in the wrong ways. Since working on recognizing these feelings things have been getting better. My husband suffered trauma as a kid to at the hands of his alcoholic father and scitzo. mother.

I am glad you were smart enough to get away. I wish you could find a T to help you discover why you continue to think about this man. Also so you do not fall in to this kind of trap again. I am very much like you a damaged sence of self worth. A T can help with that to. I'm learning I'm not so wrong and unworthy as I thought.