I have at least four other personalities... At least thats what I think... I am rarely able to converse with them... Only when I'm half-conscious... I will go ahead and introduce them... I have Rodya, who has many Borderline Traits and has a very bad anxiety problem... There is Raskolnikov, who is almost emotionless, ambitious and compassionless... Dimitri, is extremely depressed... Locke has the heart of a warrior(not necessarily in a good way), but is extremely spiteful... All of those four personalities like different music and etc... All of them also have intense lvs. of murderous hate... I haven't been to a shrink since I was seven I think. Anyways, this is hard to write, because I find it increasingly hard to remember some stuff... umm... basically, I have had these extremely strong feelings of unreality... I sometimes forget that I exist, and will be convinced that I don't exist... Sometimes these feelings bring me to self-harm or suicidal thoughts or actions... I zone out a lot... and I haven't found a grounding method that works... Also, I can't seem to hold on to my memories, in most of my memories, I see myself in the distance, in third person... There is only really one memory that isn't like that... my worst memory... Anyways, I feel like I'm fading... I can't begin to describe the despair I feel... My emotions, my personality, my beliefs, and everything just seems to be constantly shifting beneath me... I'm extremely confused... confused doesn't even begin to understand it... I don't feel like I'm here... I don't remember anything anymore... I don't understand anything anymore... I'm lost... And please don't say anything about doctors, meds, and/or shrinks... or the police for that matter... I have a terrible phobia of them... I feel alone... Only one friend is left... Not sure if I can even call that person a friend though...