Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
I am not sure you would have disintegrated like you felt you might? I don't think one can know what would/would not have happened on a road not taken?
|
No, I would have. I've gotten good at knowing that stuff--being aware of the physical signs in myself, etc. I could not speak the words, at least at that moment, without losing it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
Interesting, your choice of words, "disintegration" and "showy"? ... If I used a word like "showy" I'd want to search and make sure I didn't have some unconscious connotations that were helping/prohibiting me from a "spontaneous" behavior? For that I think of people who do not "like" to cry so work hard not to. If you do not want to engage in "showy" behavior, you probably won't; it could actually be "showy" or it could be you make that word up to help you stay away from a behavior you believe will be detrimental to you (disintegration).
|
This is so interesting and astute, Perna. Now that you have raised this, I have thought about my choice of the word "showy" and what that word means to me. One association I have is "peacock". I think a peacock is being showy when he opens his tail feathers to impress the onlooker-birds. This is a negative connotation for me because I don't like when someone deliberately tries to impress others or "show off." So I think my choice of that word serves to distance me from that behavior by making it seem kind of negative and undesirable to myself. So your commentary is right on! Just to clarify--I don't think other people who may break down in therapy are deliberately being showy. I use that word, I think, to make that behavior an undesirable choice for
me and to reinforce the choice I made. There's a lot underneath our choice of words! Thanks for that insight, Perna. (One of my favorite therapy books is
Making Contact: Uses of Language in Psychotherapy by Leston Havens.)