(((((hugs)))) I'm sorry you are feeling that all this is your "fault." PTSD is not an easy dx (not that any are) as it defies logic. YOU are not in control at this time, and it may take a long time to gain balance in your life.

Please remember that PTSD is a disability. If you have to, at least you wouldn't be out on the street if you need to go on disability???

You are not a failure! I know you feel that way, I have felt that way often. What I "knew" in my mind just didn't transpire in my life!!! stomp stomp Well, PTSD doesn't work that way... we can't think of what is proper or even what we want to do or how we wish to behave and voila` there it is. No, all our wishing and trying won't change a thing that way.

Good therapy with an expert is the only way to get a handle onto this beast. PTSD doesn't get better over time, nor if you ignore will it go away.

Life changes at times. Maybe you are at a crossroads for change? I hope your med change will help! BTW PTSD has a natural element of dissociation to it. The zoning out is perfectly normal for ptsd (((safe hugs)))