the thing that gets me about this condition...

this exagerrated brain power backfires on me struggling to sustain the basic activities of living?

I use and misuse so much time simply worrying about how to get things done the things that keep me alive...they get done....it's instinctive but adhd does not seem to trust instinct doesn't want nuthin' to do with it have to panic it all into motion...bummer!

BP's and BPD's don't help much with the running of the show!..but thats more to deal with on another level call it maybe level 195 of absurd skyscraper brain?

it's like my mind decides all by itself that it's unridiculous capable and allows way way too much information in and realistically there just aint enough space for it.

I really don't know?...it's not right to clumsily assert that all things are figured out and it drives me crazy.

things ....I believe...just are not meant to be as complicated as I experience them.....the ordinary becomes the superordinary.... a voltage spark becomes lightening I want to drive this electrified monster to the limit!

therefore I daydream all flippin' day...while hypertension destroys me from the inside out.

next time I will write something more positive....I'm sorry