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My biggest fear is that he will wake up and realize I'm much more crazy than he thinks and he will leave. He's normal and comes from a normal family. My family is full of terrible disgusting people and even when meeting my dad he said he thought I was exaggerating but when he got there it was like he stepped into a horror movie. He's never been with or known anyone or any family with this kind of dysfunction and it makes me think, especially when I'm at a low point in my mental state, that he will wake up and realize I'm not good enough for him.
I told t about some of this when I was leaving the office (he always walks his patients out the door of the building and often stands outside for a few minutes talking) he says he will do pre marital councelling and I think that's a good idea. I know my fiance worries about what he says to me because he's worried I will switch or my physical health will go down (and it's true when I get stressed it makes me physically ill seizures low blood sugar {somehow} and makes me dissociate) I can't help it but perhaps if t is in the office with us, he can help ground me while my fiance opens up and tells me the things he wants me to change. I want to get better for him, my daughter and myself, I want to know the things that he's been holding back from so I can work on them and no longer feel like I'm not good enough
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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