I am impossibly, incredibly messy. My late mother was like that. I took it from her, even though my dad and especially his parents who helped raise me were very clean. Did not rub off on my, alas. My poor daughters are messy, even though my ex cleans. Whatever he does does not rub off on them, because they spent their early years seeing mommy's clothes scattered on the floor. Pretty bad.

Unlike my mom, who completely lacked domesticity, I can cook. I taught myself cooking. I love cooking. I love to entertain people with food. But I usually do not have an opportunity because my place is too messy. And by messy I mean "unbelievably messy" and not something slightly substandard.

It is not just not getting to entertain people due to messiness.
At age 15 I did not invite a would be boyfriend to my apartment because I was not sure in my state my parents left it - I was afraid of a huge mess. Missed out on what could have been a very touch romantic session, even with awkward kissing perhaps - something that I could have later remembered. At age 20+ I did not invite again a would be lover and missed out on a whole lot of potentially great sex simply because I was embarrassed (he was sexlessly married with children so my place was the only possible place). You would think that sexual drive of a healthy bipolar 20+ year old should provide her with enough motivation to clean up her act, literally, but noooo.

Ok, so inability to entertain, inability to have romantic intercourse - 2 big things. The third one seems even bigger - inability to invite kids' friends over for playdates and sleepovers. When I was growing up, I always went TO someone, because our place was too messy and dirty. I was embarrassed. You'd think that a person with my history would make triple sure that her kids would not be embarrassed, but noooo. They went to others for playdates and sleepovers, they could not reciprocate. It is my fault entirely - when my then husband attempted to clean, I stopped him because his cleaning made me feel inferior. A vicious circle...

Manic shopping sprees resulting in overabundance of STUFF did not help, either - my rudimentary decluttering, organizing and cleaning skills could not cope with the mass of stuff I collected.

Fast forward to now. I needed to show something that I am trying to sell and for that purpose moved everything into the bedroom, leaving the living room and kitchen sparkling clean. My ex came and vacuumed the whole place and I soaked stains on the carpet. Everything looks good now. I already had friends over yesterday and enjoyed the opportunity to entertain tremendously. Tonight I am cooking an elaborate dinner for the owner of cat rescue agency for which I foster my two cats. I look forward to both the process of cooking and the process of hosting the dinner. I am giddy. I have invited yet another friend for two weeks from now, so I have to maintain it clean. I realize that if this socialization/cooking/entertaining stuff brings me such immense pleasure, I should make an effort and keep my place clean for the next half of my life. But how? You bipolar people are probably often clean freaks, especially when hypomanics - can you tell me step by step how you do it?