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You're right. He and I had a HUGE argument last night. She called me and the first thing she said was "I not do nothing momma and he spanked me" so I chewed him out. Talked to him today a little more calmly and he says "You don't discipline her, she's bad and wasn't listening and kept telling me no" to which I explained all it takes in those cases is a simple time out and it straightens her out. She only has to go in time out once a month if that and it works every time. She's a good kid, really good and listens well for a 4 year old.
Then he went on to say she doesn't know how to write all of her letters and wont eat all of her food when it's time to eat. I explained over and over she's only 4, not even in pre-k yet, of course she doesn't know how to write all of her letters, but she does know some and can easily recite the alphabet and has been able to for almost a year. And the food thing is TYPICAL for 4 year olds, you don't spank them because of it you just tell them "OK well you're not getting anything else until dinner" you know. But he flips out over the smallest things. He says he wont spank her any more since he "didn't know" I did the time out with her. But I don't believe him so I may go send social services to be sure he hasn't left any marks of any sort. I know his anger, I know how violent he can be. But I'm trying to think rationally so I don't know just yet what I will do.
I have a GOOD kid, she never says no to me, she listens well, she's a great kid for only being 4. She does have her off days but none that ever warrant spanking. I've popped her hand twice I will admit when she was about 1 1/2 because she threw a fit at a catholic church (two different occassions) and slapped me so I popped her hand but that was it and was the only time she tried to hit me or anyone.
He just looks for reasons to get upset, it's almost like he enjoys being so angry and he looks for anything and everything to not like and be angry with someone. I'm going to do some research and when I have her back home I will send the info to him
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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