This set off red flags for me...I truly hope that you will find a new T. A boundary has been crossed that is completely unethical, unprofessional and highly dangerous. It was the professional duty of your T to NOT respond in that manner. T is about you and your feelings and exploring those feelings and how you got there. T is all about you and there are serious consequences that arise to the detriment of the client when a T cannot control themself and make things about them.

IF she does have feelings, it is for her to discuss and work out with her T. She clearly has a problem with boundaries and her professional duty to you. You are in a relationship that needs to have clear VERY CLEAR boundaries. She dissolved that between you for now it is a free for all.

Sorry to say but some Ts are supremely messed up.
It sounds as if your T did a great dis-service to you both. But also gave you some great insight....that you need to get away.

I don't want to invalidate or discount your feelings, either. For they are real and precious and important.

Something else I dont understand is your S/Os response to this whole thing.

For the sake of your well being and safety, I urge you to find another T. Talk to T2 about what has occurred and get help in making that transition.

You sound quite intelligent. This is not a game and it is not for you to have to take the temp or monitor things so YOU are safe with someone who is clearly dangling a carrot in front of your face. That is NOT your job.

Rose