That's a great reason to medicate, probably a very large reason I should remain on the med path. But I don't care. I am even denying I am bipolar at this point. I've had my mom die about 6 months ago and a terrible divorce, of course I am going to have some ups and downs. Even thought I can go down the check list of BPII and see myself in it, even though I can see the cycle and it's like clockwork, I want to get past the divorce and a year from my moms death before I start thinking anything other than I am a weak man who can't deal with life. And I will not take meds to cover up weakness.

I will continue therapy but that's it. No more of this site after tonight, no more groups, just me and my few supports and I'll see what happens.