I don't know that it's necessary to find a new T. Snuff, do you trust her to hold the boundaries of the therapeutic relationship? Has she given any indication of not doing so?

I saw this as Snuff's T validating Snuff's perceptions of the situation - that there was a mutual attraction - while stating very clearly that they would not be acting on that attraction.

Maybe it's because I've been in a similar situation with my T that I don't see this as the death knell to the therapeutic relationship. My T and I are very clear about the relationship IS and what it ISN'T. He has indicated the attraction is mutual, and that no matter how we met, we would have 'clicked.' For me, for us, him telling me this was not him putting his needs ahead of mine. It was about him validating my perceptions, about reassuring me that no matter what I say to him, he will not think I'm disgusting. His finally giving me that information was what I needed to FINALLY be able to address things that I fully intended to keep hidden the rest of life, no matter what. I trust my T when he says there is a difference between our thoughts, our feelings and our actions. We get to have our feelings. We do not get to act upon them.

So Snuff, trust your instincts. If you T seems to be putting her needs ahead of yours, if she seems like she's encroaching on the boundaries of the therapeutic relationship, THEN you should leave.