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Originally Posted by critterlady
Asking isn't a boundary violation. Insisting that she answer if she deflects the question would be.
As to how someone without children can give advice on parenting - does a therapist have to have been depressed to advise a depressed client? Or have DID to work with someone with DID? Or be bipolar to help someone who's bipolar?
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that's interesting and it made me wonder if I would like doing therapy with a t who has dealt with depression, same as me. I think it might seem less like being spoken down to about it. Of course t's SAY they respect you and everything, but it sure doesn't always feel that way.
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Originally Posted by farmergirl
Mostly agree. We deal with boundaries all the time; boundaries are not exclusive to therapy. I do think there is a difference though between accidently/inadverdently bumping up against a boundary (which we all do and is not some fatal error or anything; we can all deal with those kinds of boundary crossings pretty much without blinking) and knowing clear well that you are about to stomp all over a person's boundaries and doing it anyway just out of meanness or spite or manipulativeness or whatever. If someone deliberately, knowingly, and intentionally jumps up and down on my boundaries, they are going to hear from me that they have gone too far and I won't accept that kind of treatment from them. I personally think T's have that same right to object to poor treatment from people, including their clients. Nowhere does it say a T has to accept deliberate mistreatment from anyone. Wouldn't that just be enabling bad behavior anyway?
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I agree t's shouldn't have to tolerate hurtful behaviour. But doesn't it depend whether they think the client is capable of better behaviour as to whether any particular action is hurtful? I mean, if a client in whom the therapist suspects horrible trauma yells at the t because the client has been hurt and doesn't know how to handle things in a better way, the t might tolerate it, rather than taking it personally. But with another client, the t might think the client knows better and tell the client to stop it.