purpledaisy sorry for all the worries you have to think about, you sound like you have a lot of thoughts going on, do you think you might be manic? i know when im manic i cant shut my head up and i just keep thinking and thinking, that might be something you'd want to talk about when you get a phycaitrist. also you can get on medicare, its insurrance that the state pays for and if you have bipolar you would probably qualify. i wish you all the best!!