I know a lot of people get married when they're really young, some of my old schoolmates have done that and also have kids of their own. I never intended to be one of those that got married in a hurry, but I do want to eventually get married and have a family of my own, preferably before the bio-clock says that it's unsafe for me to have kids. Mom said she was cool with whenever or if I ever get married, just that I'm a different case from the norm, I guess.
The reason I did not tell my family about Yousef is not because there was something wrong with us, but because I knew that my family would not trust him if they did not meet him in person and would make things a lot more stressful for us than they already were. I mean, think about it; how would you react if your daughter came to you and said that she was dating a man from the middle east online, given the circumstances today? My family doesn't mind me having friends from there if I've met them in person, like through school or something, but other than that, my family would probably forbid our relationship and not give him a chance. What we felt was right was to see how things went between us for a little while, let him get through the stress of the military and after getting here, they could get to know him as a person rather than based on today's stereotypes...or at least that was the idea before things went south. Keeping it secret was for our own protection emotionally. I discussed this with my best friends when this all started, and they agreed that that was probably the best route to follow.
Yousef was my first love, never dated anyone before him or after him - no one expressed interest in me before him and any crushes I had were simply that, crushes (some of them I found out the guy already had a girlfriend later too). In addition, people that did express an "interest" in me here, locally, just wanted to take me to his bed and that was it. As far as in the future, if things don't work with either Hussain or Hakim, doesn't matter how I meet someone or where he's from - if he loves me as I am, then that's the kind of person I want to be with. No particular reason for online vs. locally, he loved me and I loved him in return; isn't that what really matters for a relationship? I just want to understand what my feelings are and be able to love again.