Cancer affects everyone, not just the one afflicted with it's horrible effects. It affects friends, family, and even acquaintances with such horrible grief and suffering.

My dad's friend Ray has been slowly dying of cancer. This morning around 3:30 am he died. Dad got the call around 6:30 this morning. Although I didn't know Ray very well, he was a good man. Ray had a family: a wife and a 3 year-old daughter named Austin. Ray's wife isn't doing well at all.

Today I had to pay rent and get my meds. Well, I got a sympathy card while I was at the pharmacy. Then we went to pick up a meat & cheese tray. I had to go half on the flower arrangement that we got...not because someone said I had to but because my heart said I had to. I would've gotten the whole damn supply of flowers and plants for the funeral...if my finances allowed it.

I barely knew Ray but here I am nearly in tears. I'm trying to hold them back but I'm not being too successful at it. Is it because my mom died from cancer or the fact that my dad is suffering so much right now...or the fact that there is a little girl hurting? Knowing me it could be all three.

I just feel like there's a huge dark cloud over me right now. I had so many things planned to do today but with this death I have no more motivation to do any of them.

Cancer seems to take away the good people and none of the bad. It may be a form of natural selection in the most cruelest sense but why does it always take to good ones and never the bad???