...yeah thats a good point both above

...(back on computer now the PS3 is impossible to write with)

we are capable of having good times without it being a bipolar good time!

yet I also understand that those who lack the full understanding, and it's not their fault...they tend to expect the worst, I know my family get concerned when I'm "doing fine"... because my "doing fine" is the beginning of a meltdown and thats why they leave me be I guess.

...could take a few days but it often happens I feel happiness and think "wow this is it forever!!...cool as!"....and I can't sustain it.

it's almost like you can't win? they want us to be happy but are weary when we are it's a twisted set up

I notice people are weary and then what might have begun as a genuine free 'normal' happy suddenly betrays me and bring in the borderline...

and now I'm not sure what I mean