JohnJohn, are there any free support groups in your area for depression? Or maybe a clinic, or something? (I don't know, just throwing ideas out there...)

I am sorry you are going through this. It is very hard dealing with depression, and you definitely are not a loser seeking attention, just someone who is reaching out for help.

PC is a good place to post how you are feeling too, it is a place where you can just tell us your feelings and get it out there without worrying about what others think, because we are all experiencing it to one degree or another.

I hope you find help, and Welcome to PC!