i recently filed for divorce also & i was just thinking a little bit ago as to why i feel guilty. im so ashamed to say it but my husband plead guilty to child molesting and is in jail. he got 1-3 years and after a year he has to go before a parole board. he is an alcoholic and we never did have anything over 13 years of marriage. he was also physically and mentally abusive and i think we r so programmed to feel false guilt for nothing we even did when we finally do leave we r the ones that feel all the guilt. when he was first accused of molesting this little girl i didnt believe it i was so controlled and manipulated but i finally left and since the cobwebs have cleared i know he did it. u sound like u deserve so much better and its true what u have said about seeing someone as they really r for the first time. i couldnt for 18 years but i feel like a big weight is being lifted off of me. i hope everything goes well for u.