Hi, everyone. Don't know if my post will get through as I've joined less than 48 hours ago. It is a joy and a relief to find this thread. My wife laughed when I read out the bit about the black rhinoceros. Years ago my kids would shout "oh no, take it away from him" if I picked up a dictionary, because they knew I would soon be chuckling, skipping excitedly on and on from one entry to another, regaling them with the discoveries I was making.

I mentioned in my introductory post (which hasn't appeared yet, I think) of memories from when I was about 8 years old. It is sad that what I can picture from 53 years ago at school is the dread and guilt from having lost a school library book, or forgotten my homework book, or lost fountain pen, expensive for my parents to replace. I still lose my keys, wallet etc constantly. It's just lucky that I don't yet need glasses or I'd be losing them too. Nowadays, I can't even finish washing the dishes. I do occasionally finish a book. Fiction is harder because of the pain that I see in it, no matter that the characters experiencing it are fictional! It horrifies me to see ADD traits in one of my own children - of frustration, impatience and losing things. I feel responsible - I am responsible.

I worked as a family physician in the UK 1970s to 1990s. I gave up for two reasons. One, my patients meant too much to me. I was incapable of keeping them at the little bit of distance that is essential, retaining a slight professional detachment that allows objective judgment, and avoid one becoming emotionally burnt out by taking on too much of their pain. My patients were like family or friends to me: they meant a lot to me and vice versa. My wife (second wife, who didn't know me back then) is worried about me becoming too upset by others' troubles on this site.

The other reason I had to stop working was a toxic mix including forgetfulness, poor time management and constantly losing things, associated with (maybe partly causing) a dangerous level of depression. I lead a very simple life now. Though I can be restless, my ADD comes with disturbed night time sleep and daytime lethargy. In a typical day I achieve astonishingly little.

My psychiatrist was very kind and supportive, but never thought of ADD. I knew my brain function was at least unusual if not outright abnormal, and I knew how, but I never formally labelled it. It was my wife who suggested i was autistic. I didn't accept that because of my high levels of empathy, but I knew there were traits that fitted. I see that I do sit somewhere in that territory, with some Asperger traits. Times change, medical knowledge and fashion shifts. Doctors can be lazy and complacent - pigheaded about refusing to recognise what is new, or doesn't fit in with their preconceptions.

On Saturday, I took an online questionnaire about ADD. It was a simple one that said if ten or more out of 27 statements applied to you, you probably had ADD. A solid 21 (at least) applied to me. Well, well. After all these years, almost a lifetime. Better late than never. I hope it may ease some of the despair and self loathing that I have felt all my life.

Great to come across this site, and to find histories like those in this thread. My thanks to all of you who contribute and who work to make the site available, R