speak up. use your words, you CAN use your voice now, you literally had no power before, a an infant, a child - but as an adult - well, these are lessons we SHOULD have been taught, we should have been encouraged, but boy some of us really were not. Self-esteem was shot down, power was rubbed out. It makes it scary to ask now, but that's step one. Just ask. Just ask T what's going on.