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Jul 16, 2012, 05:32 PM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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God bless both of you!!! Grump ~ First may I say THANK YOU for your service to our country!!! We don't say it enough to our service people, and you should be thanked daily! So thank you very much! Secondly, your wife must be very sick to have cheated that many times. She obviously needs therapy, but I doubt that she thinks there's anything wrong with her.  The must be in denial -- not only about the cheating problem, but also the gambling! She definitely needs a therapist. But YOU have NOTHING to feel guilty about. If you feel guilty about being away so much, I'm SURE she knew what she was getting into before you two got married, so that's no excuse at all! I see NO reason for guilt on your part, based on what you've said. So PLEASE stop beating yourself up -- sure after 26 yrs of marriage you have to grieve the death of the marriage. I too was married for 26 yrs., and divorced my abusive husband (whom I stayed with due to the children, which was a big mistake according to them!) and I had to grieve the marriage. But other than that I did NOT feel guilty at all for the divorce. I felt FREE and wonderful! I hope you do too! You deserve so much better!
And Trixie ~ My heart goes out to you!! What a horrible thing to have to come to terms with.  To think that you know someone and come to find out, he's no where near the person you thought he was! It's almost too much to bear when you first find out -- but thank God we can get rid of them in this country! lol In some cultures we'd be stuck with them for life! But seriously, I don't know how you got thru that. You must be a very strong woman to have made it thru that in one piece. I totally respect and admire you.  I think he SHOULD have been put away for life.  But YOU have NO reason at ALL to feel guilty -- for heavens sakes, this guy doesn't deserve to have a decent woman as his wife! You did NOTHING AT ALL! He used you & manipulated you --- how can YOU feel guilty? No my dear -- get rid of that guilt. Bury it and never dig it up again. Talk with a therapist if need be, but no guilt is called for in your case. Go ahead and talk about the whole thing, but you sure don't have guilt to carry. I wish you the very best.
Both of you -- take care of yourselves. Pamper yourselves. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee
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